The Gulf

Audrey Hepburn An Elegant Spirit
pg 186 It was this “emotional hunger” as she described it, “the hunger that food cannot alleviate,” and the panic and devastation of the child who had no one to relate to, that she felt the most keenly. She wrote,”the neglect and humiliation of a child by adults is a killer of trust, of hope and of possibility.”

pg 147 The appendix – this useless little appendage we still know so little about was killing her (Audrey). Is the appendix where our perfect body stores all of the tiny things that cannot be digested, or is it a place for the soul to collect all the hurts that it cannot digest?

pg11 in many ways my (Sean) mother’s marriages Mel Ferrer and the second to Andrea Dotti were a continuation of the same dynamic. (Her mother had spent the war spewing poison about her father, about his disappearance, about his lack of support of any type. Audrey had to see for herself – she visited him twenty years after he left them -, and when she did, indeed there was nothing there.) Both men – Mel and Andrea - had been emotionally scarred by equally powerful and brilliant mothers who, as a result of their backgrounds, their education, and the societal rules of their times, didn’t connect with their children at a profound emotional level. The “emotional hunger” that “food cannot alleviate” was something she knew how to recognize. Having experienced it herself, she had an instinctual desire to share it with her husbands and help heal that missing link. How disappointing it must have been for her not to be able to complete these men. We all find such different ways to adapt . . .
I (Sean, the author, Audery’s son with Mel) believe that the first relationship with a parent, the love and trust it builds – or fails to build – is what colors and supports our emotional world throught the rest of our lives. It is the trust we share – or don’t share – with our parents that makes it possible to choose whom we will love later in life. If that first relationship is incomplete, we suffer from that hunger our whole lives and end up blaming others for not fulfilling it when, after all, they can’t. We aren’t taught how to deal with our feelings, how to recognise the issues that have the potential to assasssinate our real chances at relationships; instead we all make do with what tools we have. We all learn clever ways to divert the issues ...
Audery said “we are born with the ability to love yet we have to develop it like you would any other muscle”

This embodies the basic reason why I can not accept Presbyterial government of the Church and reform theology. In addition to putting power and authority into the hands of a few people it brings assassination (by the oath and by the inhuman rules) of the one relationship that matters in all of the universe, that with our heavenly Father, and overrides and neglects the person part of living, that is our relationship with our brothers and sisters in Christ. It is way to over eager to define what is right and what is wrong and put rules where they do not belong. (Sure if I do not exibit holy living you have the right to question my salvation but holiness does NOT define my relationship to God OR to my fellow christians ! !) (the west confess defines the church by the rules but Act 2:47 says it is defined by our relationship with Christ !)
The first reformation did not outlast the original generation who concocted it nor did the second, what chance is there that the third will fair any better? No I do not think that God was the author. There is a fatal error in the Theology. I do think that God was with them and used them (in spite of themselves and their theology) at a critical juncture in history. They had I believe a personal relationship with God but their concept of the church burried exactly that relationship for others comming into their church and for the next generation comming up. Just like Israel burried God behind the veil and did not show Him off to the the nations around them. Ther people of ther third reformation no doubt have a personal relationship with God and are very sincere but they are leaving behind an impersonal legacy for those who would follow them and for the next generation. For this reason I do not accept that the Mt Sinai covenant and the NT are one and the same covenant “under differant administration” They ARE NOT ! ! Mt Sinai was put in place to drive the people to Christ, the NT IS Christ ! Whole differant game. Black and White appart. As far as East is from West. The church does not exist to drive, lead, coherse, coax, demand, any one to Christ or to a deeper, better, higher, more holy life ! Yes, while we are together we can motivate others but it exists for those WHO ARE ALREADY IN Christ ! ! NOW let’s get on with the living part of it instead of constantly taking our blood pressure and heartbeat and focusing on everything that we do wrong – Christ died for those things for goodness sake ASK for Forgiveness and GET ON WITH IT ! We are not sinners any more – we sin, we ask for forgivness THAT HAS ALREADY BEEN Judicially granted. If Prytry is so right then you should be out there every chance possible – at every gathering of christians possible TEACHING them instead of wrapping your robe around you and retreating into the stoney fastness of your oath and refusing to have anything to do with your own family (in Christ) ! It is the Lord’s table and He never said to exclude anyone who we acknowledge to be a christian. The church does not have the power of excommunication ! There is a vast differance between “official excommunication” of a christian and Rom 16:17 “Mark that man and avoid them – For they that are such DO NOT Serve our Lord Jesus Christ”. Or 1Cor 5:11 – 13 “if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator or covetous or an idolator (who is not according to reform theo ! ? ) or etc. it DOES NOT say kick him out if he will not imbibe alcohol in his communion wine or plays a panio to accompany his sinnging – it DOES say “put away from among yourselves that WICKED person” ! This does not take some official decree to achieve. 2Thess 3:14-15 DOES NOT say “excommunicate him officially”. A big part of the weakness of the church in the western countries is exactly that we as stronger christian do not do something about it. We do not exhort, we do not encourage, we do not get out in frount and show a good example, we do not motivate, we do not sharply repremand our fellow christian. We take our own personl relationship with the Lord forgranted and that of our fellow christian. The Church and the Christian life is about LIVING ! Reform theo is about death; not that differant from the Roman Institution crucifying the Lord over and over, and taking away the personal relationship among christians. Reform theo is about alienation, “the law kills”. but “The Spirit gives life” “walk in the Spirit and you will not...” break the law you will not hate your brother you will not .... That is very differant from “Thou Shalt NOT . . .”. Or a ‘constitution’ dictated by some well meaning christian who deems that he rules the church by Divine Right !!! Your conscience says West Confess is right mine says it is not right. Show me your credentials, you are the one who is making the claim of authority not me. In the mean time don’t lets alienate each other.
Reform theo does not feed spiritual emotional hunger. It fixes an unpassable gulf between the lay person and the Father.
“Trust in the Lord Jesus Christ, Love one another, Pray for each other, En courage each other, Esteem each other christian as better than yourself, Do good works, and so on – these are the commandments of the NT !